When My Intersecting Identities of Being Racially Oppressed and Privileged Become Blurred: An Autoethnographic Dive Into Unlocking the Polarities of Who I Am
Portland State University
How they used Delve
A Portland State University doctoral researcher subscribed to Delve for an autoethnography, uploaded the whole document of personal stories, coded it in three rounds to 450 codes, used the code sidebar to see patterns across coded stories, and grouped codes into categories such as racial trauma, attitudes, feelings, complicity, and gratitude before charting themes in a spreadsheet.
“After I chose Delve (see Appendix B) as my coding platform, I was able to upload my entire document of stories. Once there, I started my preliminary coding process. [...] With 450 codes, Delve allowed me to quickly move and organize each code into categories such as racial trauma, attitudes, feelings, complicity, and gratitude.”
- Field
- Educational leadership / racial identity
- Data
- The author's own written stories of lived experience, uploaded as a single document
- Approach
- Autoethnography with three rounds of coding (descriptive then conceptual), 450 codes consolidated into categories and themes, then a thematic analysis spreadsheet
- Data types
- Documents
Abstract
Freire argued that each person is, at times, both the oppressor and the oppressed. He posited that the path to liberation is increased critical consciousness, problematizing our circumstances, and finding ways to take action. As a person from the global majority (PGM), this autoethnography incorporates my personal narratives, communication with colleagues, photo observations, and professional writings that problematizes and examines ways I have been both complicit in, or have been victimized by, racialized oppression, particularly in educational settings. I’ve had an increasingly keen sense of awareness toward my own racialized tensions when interacting with individuals, in groups, or with an educational system that remains highly racialized. I’ve been part of, victim of, and have borne witness to countless racial events that have pushed me to a place of silence, as silence has been my place of safety, perseverance, and resilience. However, over decades of being a silent bystander in my own experiences and the experiences of others, I’ve realized the harm my silence was inflicting upon myself and others. I was not only holding myself hostage as a victim of others’ racialized attacks on me, but I was also complicit in the racialized harm upon others. Through this study, I focused on how those moments have ultimately impacted the ways I’ve chosen to interact with racialized tensions and norms. I hope to inspire others to continually self-examine ways each of us show up in our own racialized moments, while also being in solidarity with all those forced to persevere through their silence.
Citation
Susan Acosta (2025). When My Intersecting Identities of Being Racially Oppressed and Privileged Become Blurred: An Autoethnographic Dive Into Unlocking the Polarities of Who I Am. Portland State University (Doctor of Education dissertation). https://doi.org/10.15760/etd.3943