Escogiendo la Ambiguedad: The Reconstruction of Identity of Latina Non-Monogamous Women via Mestiza Consciousness

Drawing on Gloria Anzaldúa’s borderlands theory (1987) and mestiza consciousness, I explore how Latina non-monogamous women navigate identities that are fundamentally misunderstood by their families, peers, and broader societal norms. Anzaldúa argued that for Latinas, sexual behavior represents the “ultimate rebellion against her native culture,” particularly for lesbian and queer Latinas. Extending this framework, I argue that Latina women who practice non-monogamy—many of whom also identify as queer—challenge a foundational cultural expectation: the monogamous pair. I argue that borderlands theory and mestiza consciousness provide a lens for understanding the complexities of living between cultural expectations and personal desires, offering insights into Latinas’ resistance, identity negotiation, and pursuit of their truest relational and sexual expression. I situate my analysis of Latina non-monogamous women within Chicana literature, feminist theories, and intersectional perspectives to reflect on Latina relational socialization. I highlight how sexual socialization messages relying on traditional gender role and relationship messaging often influence Latina socialization processes and expectations; in particular, I argue that Latina non-monogamous women’s identities can inform our comprehension of Latinas’ experiences because they challenge a fundamental expectation of how Latinas relate to others and prioritize their family. In Study 1, I present findings from a reflexive thematic analysis on 21 semi-structured interviews. Participants were recruited via social media and interviewed over Zoom in 2024. From these data, I developed three themes: (1) Family as a site of reproduction of norms; (2) Reconstruction of identity and relationships; and (3) Choosing ambiguity. I found that Latina non-monogamous women navigated their identities with their families by choosing ambiguity, where they challenge rigid definitions of how to belong and instead choose to live in constant fluidity and transition to create a space for their contradictions. I argue that ambiguity demands considerable psychological labor for Latina non-monogamous women but offers the flexibility to make nuanced decisions about their familial relationships while also creating space for self-expression. In Study 2, I detail the results of a survey study (N = 201) examining the impact of sexual socialization messages—particularly mononormative and heteronormative messaging—from family and mainstream media on internalized oppressive attitudes. Sex-positive messages were linked to internalized non-monogamy negativity and endorsement of the heterosexual script, while gendered sexual roles were associated with lower levels of these problematic attitudes. To explore potential differences in how sexual socialization messages were internalized according to critical reflection level, I divided participants into those who are low and high in critical reflection. Participants with high critical reflection were more influenced by parental and media messages, showing 22 significant associations with internalized attitudes, including both rejection and internalization of traditional norms. These findings suggest that higher critical reflection may heighten awareness of oppressive messaging. The low critical reflection group showed only five associations, indicating less sensitivity to these messages. Critical reflection increased awareness of oppressive norms but also heightened sensitivity to harm and stigma resulting in complex experiences with even “progressive” messages. This heightened awareness for those with high critical reflection was particularly evident in media engagement, as watching dating programs was associated with seeing monogamy as enhancing, internalized non-monogamy stigma, and higher endorsement of the heterosexual script. I conclude by offering recommendations for research, advocacy, and clinical contexts to address the impact of relationally oppressive messaging on the psychological labor and well-being of minoritized individuals.